Exploring the Balance Between Independence and Relationships in Modern Times
Being single often comes with a mixed bag of emotions and experiences. Whether you’ve left a long-term relationship or are simply enjoying time alone, the single life is sometimes misunderstood, especially in a society that still tends to glorify being in a relationship.
In this post, I want to explore what it really means to embrace solitude—not as an escape, but as a choice that brings peace, fulfillment, and self-discovery. For many, being single feels comfortable, but it doesn’t mean the absence of a desire for connection. Instead, it’s about striking a balance between personal space and the value of sharing life with someone.
Redefining the Single Comfort Zone
The term “single comfort zone” is a powerful one. It suggests that staying single is a decision made for the sake of preserving personal freedom. We often compare our current state to past experiences—whether it’s a former relationship that felt suffocating or a complex family dynamic that didn’t allow space for personal growth. Solitude provides relief in those situations, offering us the control to do things on our own terms.
However, there’s a fine line between choosing solitude for growth and using it as a shield against vulnerability. Social exhaustion is real—going out to see the same faces, worrying about disappointing new people, or even just the thought of being judged, can push us to opt for staying home and watching Netflix instead. It’s safe, predictable, and stress-free.
But here’s the question: is this comfort zone helping you grow, or is it keeping you from building meaningful relationships?
The Impact of Modern Life on Relationships
One key aspect that’s shifted post-pandemic is our social energy. Many of us became more accustomed to isolation, and as a result, social anxiety or “laziness” around meeting new people increased. Before, it might have been easier to go out, but after such a long period of isolation, the idea of re-entering the dating scene can feel like an overwhelming task.
Modern communication also plays a role here. With dating apps, it’s easy to swipe, match, and chat—without the vulnerability that comes with in-person interactions. The digital space allows us to curate our responses, taking time to craft the perfect message rather than facing the unpredictability of a real-time conversation. This protection feels good in the short term but can keep us from truly connecting with others.
A concerning side effect of this shift is how we’ve come to rely on technology not just for efficiency, but also as a buffer from emotional discomfort. There’s a loss of spontaneity in interactions, which is a crucial part of human connection. A perfectly crafted text on WhatsApp, no matter how thoughtful, can’t replace the emotional depth that comes with a face-to-face conversation, where body language, tone, and immediate reactions play a vital role.
Navigating the Balance Between Independence and Connection
Despite these challenges, many still long for connection. The key is understanding the balance between valuing your independence and being open to vulnerability. Many people find themselves asking: “Am I choosing to be single because it’s genuinely what I want, or am I afraid of being in another relationship that doesn’t meet my needs?”
When you’re single, you can follow your routine without negotiation. There’s freedom in not having to accommodate someone else’s schedule or preferences. But there’s also a deep sense of growth when we open ourselves up to a relationship where both partners contribute equally to making life easier and more joyful.
A healthy relationship should not feel like a burden, but rather, a mutual exchange of care and support. It’s about finding that balance, knowing when to protect your personal time and space while also creating room for others in your life.
Why Relationships Can Feel Like a Weight
Relationships can come with their own set of challenges, and let’s face it, they’re not always easy. Especially for women, there’s often an unspoken pressure to “keep things running”—from managing the household to emotional labor. When we step away from a relationship and enjoy time alone, it can feel like an incredible relief not to have to shoulder that extra burden.
As we get older, many of us are reluctant to give up that peace. The thought of bringing someone new into our life may seem daunting. Questions like “Will they understand my need for space?” or “What if they disrupt the harmony I’ve built for myself?” naturally arise. It’s important to acknowledge these concerns as valid while understanding that a healthy relationship should offer balance, not additional strain.
In some cases, people stay single because they’re tired of being in relationships where they had to adjust who they were to fit the other person’s needs. When we constantly suppress parts of ourselves to accommodate others, it drains our emotional energy. But that doesn’t mean we need to stay single forever—finding the right balance in a relationship can allow you to keep your identity intact while still enjoying companionship.
Living a Life of Solitude With Intention
If you’re someone who is embracing the single life right now, whether intentionally or as part of a phase, it’s important to recognize the benefits of this time. Use it as an opportunity to get to know yourself, to explore your interests, and to build the life you want. This is a time for reflection, self-care, and perhaps most importantly, self-acceptance.
But also, be mindful of the ways in which comfort can sometimes become a barrier to growth. Staying single is a valid choice, but so is being open to relationships when they come from a place of equality, respect, and mutual support. It’s essential to remain open to new experiences and not fall into the trap of isolation simply because it feels easier or safer.
At the end of the day, it’s not about whether being single is better than being in a relationship. It’s about making choices that align with who you are and what you need at any given moment. Whether single or in a partnership, true fulfillment comes from living authentically, respecting your needs, and staying open to personal growth.