Why some people dominate conversations and still feel empty
We’ve all been in those conversations where someone just keeps going. Story after story. Thought after thought. You nod. You listen. You wait for space to jump in, but it never really comes. And when it finally ends, you walk away feeling like you weren’t in a conversation you were in a monologue.
It took me a while to realise that what I was witnessing wasn’t just someone being talkative. It was emotional hunger. A kind of deep, unmet need to be seen, heard, validated. And the tricky thing about emotional hunger is that it looks like connection, but it rarely feeds anyone not even the person doing all the talking.
Talking as a way to fill a gap
When someone talks nonstop, it’s easy to feel frustrated. Like they’re being selfish or unaware. But often, it’s not about ego. It’s about need. A need that probably hasn’t been met for a long time. Maybe they grew up not feeling heard. Maybe they never felt safe being vulnerable. Maybe the only time they got attention was when they performed.
So they keep talking. Not to dominate, but to feel less alone. To fill a gap they don’t know how to name. But the problem is, no amount of talking will ever fill that kind of emotional emptiness. Especially if it’s not balanced by listening.
Why it doesn’t feel like connection
Real connection is mutual. It’s a two way flow. When one person does all the talking, it doesn’t matter how deep or emotional the content is it still feels one sided. You’re not building a bridge. You’re standing on one side of a canyon, shouting into the void.
And if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of that, you know how lonely it feels. To be physically present but emotionally invisible. To be in a room with someone and feel like you could disappear mid sentence and they wouldn’t notice.
What emotional hunger sounds like
It’s not just about how much someone talks. It’s how they respond when you speak. Do they ask questions? Do they seem curious about your world? Or do they pivot the moment you start sharing, steering the focus back to themselves?
You can tell when someone is listening to connect versus listening to respond. One makes space. The other takes space.
Compassion without self-abandonment
It’s easy to feel compassion when you realise someone’s emotional hunger comes from pain. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep giving more than you receive. Compassion doesn’t mean abandoning your own need to feel seen.
You can care about someone and still protect your energy. You can hold space and still set boundaries. And sometimes, that means stepping back. Not to punish, but to preserve your own emotional balance.
What we all really want
Underneath all of it the talking, the oversharing, the need to be interesting is the same desire we all carry: to feel connected. To feel like we matter. And maybe the first step toward that isn’t saying more, but listening more. Not just to others, but to ourselves.
Because when we start listening, really listening, we begin to meet the need that words alone can’t satisfy.