If silence feels unbearable, it’s probably time to listen to it
I’ve caught myself doing it without even realising. Reaching for my phone while waiting in line. Opening an app before I’ve even sat down. Scrolling when I’m not even interested in what I’m looking at. It’s like my hand has its own reflex. A built in escape from whatever moment I’m in. And honestly, it’s scary how normal that’s become.
We’ve built a world where being alone is treated like a problem. Silence makes people uncomfortable. Space feels empty. The moment you’re not consuming something, your brain starts fidgeting. And that’s where the scroll begins. Not because you want to see anything in particular. Just because being alone with your own thoughts feels like too much.
The Algorithm Isn’t Just on Your Screen
The more I pay attention, the more I realise that social media doesn’t just hijack your attention. It reshapes your inner world. The pace, the pressure, the comparison, the noise. It’s not just content you’re consuming. It’s a way of being. Everything fast. Everything constant. Nothing quiet.
Even when I’m not on my phone, I can feel it. That low hum of urgency. Like I should be checking something. Doing something. Reacting to something. And the truth is, the algorithm isn’t just running online. It starts running inside you. It turns your nervous system into a search bar that never closes.
And the thing is, it works. That scroll gives you a hit. It gives your brain something to chew on so you don’t have to sit with the silence. Because silence? That’s where the real stuff starts to show up. And a lot of us are terrified of that.
What We’re Actually Running From
When I stop and let the silence sit, it doesn’t take long before I start feeling it. The sadness I’ve been pushing away. The decisions I’ve been avoiding. The truth that maybe I’m not as okay as I pretend to be.
And I get it. Avoidance is easier. Scrolling is easier. But the cost is high. Because eventually, the things we refuse to face don’t go away. They just pile up quietly in the background. And we wonder why we feel so tired. So disconnected. So numb.
We’ve confused stimulation with connection. We think just because we’re constantly plugged in, we’re not alone. But we are. Sometimes more than ever. Because being surrounded by content isn’t the same as being seen. And liking someone’s story isn’t the same as being in their life.
Relearning How to Be Still
This isn’t about quitting social media. It’s about not letting it replace your presence. It’s about remembering what it feels like to just exist. To sit without input. To go for a walk and not record it. To eat without posting it. To feel something and not tweet it.
When was the last time you sat in complete silence and didn’t immediately reach for a screen? Not because you had to, but because you chose to. That kind of quiet is rare now. But it’s also where all the real stuff lives. Clarity. Grief. Desire. Peace. All the things we say we want but don’t give ourselves space to feel.
You’re allowed to log off. You’re allowed to get bored. You’re allowed to not perform your life for strangers. Your worth doesn’t live in notifications. And your peace will never be delivered by an algorithm.
Silence Is a Skill
Being alone isn’t a flaw. It’s a skill. One that needs practice. One that feels weird at first, especially when your nervous system is used to noise. But over time, it becomes something else. A kind of grounding. A kind of return. To your thoughts. To your body. To the part of you that remembers who you are without all the filters.
So the next time you feel that itch to open an app, just pause. Ask yourself what you’re running from. What you’re trying not to feel. And maybe, just for a minute, stay with yourself.
You might be surprised at what shows up when the scroll finally stops.